Thursday, March 22, 2012

Q.   At first, my girlfriend was all silk stockings and lace lingerie.  We had sex all the time.  Now, a year down the line, she's in her 'period pants' even when it's not her period, only shaves her legs to go out with the girls, and sex only happens on a Sunday.  I want to sue under the Trade Descriptions Act.

A.   Do you still make her sides split with daft jokes?  Make her heart leap with wild romantic gestures?  Lavish hours of foreplay on her?  Put the toilet seat down?  Being the perfect boyfriend all the time is exhausting, isn't it?  Well, so is being a 24-hour sex siren.  Few of us set out to mislead new lovers with false promises - we simply show our best side first and if all goes well, we relax and reveal a little more.  Her stubbly legs and big knickers are a testament to how safe she feels with you.  Bring her old sparkle back by treating her like a diamond (or buying her one!).  Present her with some new lingerie, light some candles and crack open a bottle of fizz.  This relationship is 50% yours - it's what you make it as well.

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