Q. My new man talks all the way through sex - like a radio commentator at a football match: '....you're doing this to me and now I'm doing this to you ....'. That on its own is bad enough, but then he'll call me names, which I hate. I don't know how to tell him without upsetting him.

A. Some people are turned on by what they see, some by what they feel and others by what they hear. If he's turned on by filthy banter, his sexual experience could be severely compromised if you put a ban on it. Try finding a compromise. He likes the chatter but you don't, so while you're building up to your orgasm, gently shush him and tell him you prefer silence. Then, when it's his turn, reward him by doing some dirty talking of your own. But make sure you let your man know the words or names that turn you off and ask him not to use them again because it's spoiling sex for you. If we make room for our lover's little habits, strange as they may be, hopefully they'll make room for ours.

Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two years, but his ex - with whom he has a daughter - is always trying to break us up. She makes snide remarks about me and sends him dirty texts and pictures - it feels like they are still together! We threw his daughter a birthday party last week. I took some photos and uploaded them for him to show his friends, but his ex found out and threatened to smash my laptop. I'm terrified of her, so talking to her isn't an option. I'm afraid she'll stop him seeing his daughter. How can I deal with this?

A. You can't speak to her, but I hope you can speak to him. Why did they split? If you don't know, discuss it calmly. Urge him to seek legal advice about setting up parental rights so his daughter can't be used as a pawn by his jealous ex. She imagines her child may come to love and prefer you, as her daddy does. Guilt - not love - makes him take her calls; your dignified silence is the only way to help him and discourage her. Try to smile and say 'Poor cow!' when she tries to upset you. Let him be with his daughter mostly on his own for a little while. In time, you can forge a relationship with her. Even jealousy runs its course. It won't be easy, but if you keep your cool, she'll cool down too, eventually.

Q. My boyfriend doesn't do foreplay. He'll let me do stuff to him, but then he'll just climb on me and carry on until it's finished. I find it really hard to get going without any build up and I almost never orgasm. I know you'll say it's my job to get good sex, but how?

A. Firstly, what's motivating his bad behaviour? Is he a) a selfish loser; b) a nervous wreck or c) totally oblivious? If it's 'a', he only cares about his needs both in and out of bed. He doesn't need to change because you give him everything he wants. So stop!! Tell him you want to orgasm first - that means if you don't, he won't either. Guy 'b' has no idea how to please you and is so scared of getting it wrong he doesn't try. When faced with your vagina, he's lost in the Amazon jungle without a compass. He needs guidance and possibly a map! If he's 'c', he's inexperienced and a bit dozy. Try a foghorn and a copy of the Lovers Guide. Believe you deserve good sex and you won't settle for bad.

A great show on TalkSport tonight, and thanks to Adrian :)

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Q. My girlfriend's perfectly lovely until we have sex - then she becomes an annoying girly girl. She either makes these stupid purring noises or calls me pet names and speaks in a baby voice. I don't want to upset her, but it's really freaking me out. What shall I do?

A. It sounds as though you're at the end of your tether, and if you don't say something to your girlfriend soon, you'll find you can't bring yourself to have sex with her at all. She might be acting childishly in bed because a) it's a cover for how shy and vulnerable she feels; b) it's a hidden request for you to be more authoritative with her - she wants you to be the boss - or c) she's simply repeating something that worked with her last lover, and is assuming that you like it too because you haven't set her straight. You clearly like this girl, so do both of you a favour and get real - ask her why she does it. Be careful not to criticise her, though. There's nothing at all wrong with what she's doing - it just isn't working for you.

Q. My boyfriend loves going down on me, but sometimes when he's down there he just looks at me. It makes me uncomfortable and I feel like I'm being inspected. Is he being weird?

A. Men are as sexually stimulated by what they see as by what they feel; when having sex, they prefer to keep their eyes open and the lights on. Being allowed to look between your legs is a privilege and I don't doubt he does it because it turns him on. But being looked at and admired is one thing; being scrutinised as if part of a scientific investigation is another! Tell him to put his microscope away as it makes you nervous. Or close your eyes and trust he's looking as he wants to know you. Yes, every nook and cranny!! In fact, you can turn it into a role play situation, where he can play the doctor who is examining you, so he doesn't just look, he plays while he's down there too, but if you are blindfolded, or get your head into thinking you're a patient, it can be a very erotic play situation. Try it, you might like it :)

Q. I know I'm not supposed to, but I've got myself into two relationships at once. I need to pick one guy, but can't - I love both of them deeply. Mr A. is very loving and settled, and makes me his priority. Mr B. is a great cook, we have fantastic sex and he gives me my own space. How can I make a choice?

A. To be torn between two men means even though you love qualities in each of them, you don't deeply love either - not enough for commitment. Take a break from both guys. Spend a week or two away if you can - alone. Discover from a distance which, if either, emerges as the clear winner of your heart. More importantly, time on your own gives you a chance to find out who you are. For instance, do you truly want to settle down? Have you become the person you want to be, or are you still discovering yourself? Do you agree with Mr A. that you should be his first priority? Or do you think more like Mr B.? By the way, you don't mention who told you that you weren't supposed to love two men. Whoever it was, now you're discovering for yourself why two at a time is a bad idea.