Saturday, May 12, 2012

Q.   I've started seeing a bloke who I really like, but it's only been a few months and he's already acting like we've been together for years, which I'm finding very intense.  I found out he broke up with his girlfriend of four years only a few weeks before we got together.  Is he just trying to replace his ex with me?

A.   Rushing into a new relationship after the break-up of a long-term one means that we can try too hard to make the new one work.  Worse still, the new partner often suffers for the sins of the ex, in your case, you only say that he's a bit intense.  So for the time being just take things with a pinch of salt.  He's making the effort and clearly wants to make it work, and is looking to the long-term.  As long as you like him enough and want similar things, then hopefully he'll begin to lighten up.  However, if his intensity begins to make you feel uncomfortable, ask, 'Why does it seem as if we've been together ages?' and see what response you get.  Give him reassurance if you think he's feeling a little insecure, but don't let him try to control you.

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