Q.   A close male friend of mine is a secret cross-dresser.  Lately he says it's getting him depressed because he feels it's wrong.  I love him as a friend and want to help.


A.   Many experts say that cross-dressing or transvestism usually expresses not a desire to be a woman, but merely to be seen as a woman and to feel like one in sexy garments.  Many male transvestites actively prefer relationships with women; a husband's taste for cross-dressing is not an uncommon secret within loving marriages.  To ease your friend's worries, go online for information and helplines you can pass on to him.  If knowledge of other transvestites doesn't comfort him, he should try counselling - not for cross-dressing but for his shameful feelings.