Saturday, March 31, 2012

Q.   A few months ago, I kissed a close friend of mine.  Afterwards, he told me that he really liked me and knew that he would be missing out on a good thing if he didn't pursue his feelings for me, but he also said that he didn't want to risk our friendship.  I really like him and we get on so well.  Should I talk to him about how I really feel or should I just forget it?  I'm scared, as I don't want to risk ruining the friendship either, but at the same time I think we'd be really good together.  I don't know what to do.  Help!

A.   It's good that you're thinking this through and you understand your friend's reservations.  He may have been in a similar position before, or might not be so sure that a relationship with you will work out.  If you talk to him, you need to listen to his concerns.  You seem to want to clear the air and have your say before you can move forward, so take a couple of days to think about what you are going to say and bear all the possible outcomes of the situation in mind.  If you just decide to remain friends, then you need to accept this fully and not raise the issue in the future.  If you choose to start a relationship then you'll both need to work at your friendship too.

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