Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, but recently I've found out that he's been secretly flirting with someone who's also in a relationship.  I read his text messages and he's been slagging me off to her. I decided to confront him, but he said it was just 'banter'.  He deleted her number and said he'll change, but I don't trust him now.  What should I do? 


A.   It sounds as though you've never trusted him, which is why you checked up on him.  As much as he's been disloyal, you don't seem to give him his own space.  Trust is essential, but it's important for you both to express your individuality and have separate friends and interests.  You need to work out what you both want in the relationship, and if there's enough common ground to move forward.