Q.   My boyfriend loves play fighting but he gets really rough.  He once dislocated my finger!  It's foreplay to him, and he always wants sex after, but I feel weird that he's turned on by pinning me down - it's like he's forcing himself on me. 


A.   The fact your boyfriend likes to wrestle with you doesn't make him dark and dangerous.  Most sexual fantasies are about power in one form or another - taking it or giving it away.  Being stimulated by a degree of submission or domination doesn't make us victims, weirdos or predators.  Can you honestly say that power or powerlessness play no role in your sexual thinking?  Tell Clumsy to be more careful or say goodbye to play fighting for good.