Q.   I'm seeing a guy who I thought cared for me.  But now he only wants us to hang out when he's drunk, meaning he only wants sex.  His best friend is very caring and understanding.  He makes me laugh and looks after me - I've started falling for him.  How do I tell him without destroying their friendship and making them hate me?  I'm scared of what will happen but can't carry on this way.


A.   You have two problems and they need to be solved separately.  Your boyfriend has been becoming your ex for some time.  He neglects you except when drunk and feeling horny - a combination, incidentally, that doesn't make for fun in bed.  Tell him you need time on your own to think about the future.  You know what? You do.  You need to get back out there; to renew old friendships, to concentrate on work or studies.  Don't even mention his friend yet - he's problem number two.  It could be he is only a comforter, and escape route from your messy relationship.  Stay cool, stay busy and give your feelings time to settle.  If your 'ex' accepts you as a friend, that's up to him.  In due course, he may even accept your relationship with his friend, if it still exists.  But don't leap out of one man's frying pan into another man's fire, that's how a girl gets burnt.