Q.   I've been with my man for seven months and we both have children from previous relationships.  His ex keeps trying to split us up.  How can we make it clear that she has no chance of winning him back, without upsetting her so much that she'll stop him seeing his daughter? 


A.   You're right that this needs to be handled sensitively.  He needs to chat to his ex and acknowledge that, because they have a child together, they will always be a part of each others' lives.  But he also needs to talk to her about why they broke up in the first place.  It's best for him to focus the conversation on being friends with her and fostering a good relationship, rather than bringing up the issue of access to his child.  It may be rocky for a while, but as long as he is kind, firm and consistent, the message will sink in.