Q. I had unprotected sex on a one-night stand last year and caught herpes. I feel so dirty and stupid. Now a guy I really like has asked me out and I want to say yes but I can't face telling him about the herpes. Who wants a girlfriend with an STI?

A. It's your attitude that's causing problems, not the virus. You're neither dirty nor stupid, just unlucky. The sooner you stop beating yourself up and start researching what it means to live with herpes, the sooner you'll find out how easily you can cope. Tell your potential man on a first date and he's likely to flee. Present the facts calmly and in context if your relationship turns sexual and there's a better chance he'll stay around. You're the same person you've always been and you deserve loving relationships and great sex as much as you always have. As long as you believe that, nothing needs to change.