Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Q. I've found out my dad's being unfaithful to mum and I'm so confused about what to do. I don't want her to get hurt but I don't know how long I can stay silent.

A. It's often best to confront the person having the affair. Tell your dad what you know and explain that you want to talk about how this affects your relationship with him and his relationship with his mum. You'll have your own feelings of hurt to discuss but, beyond that, the fact that you know he's having an affair puts you in a situation where you're colluding with him. You have four options: 1) you tell your mum, 2) he tells your mum, 3) you both keep schtum on the condition that he ends the affair immediately or 4) you talk to him about what he is having the affair for and where he plans on it going, and work out if you can both live with the situation or not. Whatever you decide, the outcome will be unpredictable and the process painful. But your parents need to address the problems in their relationship that might have led to the affair. Finally, its vital you share your feelings about how the experience has affected you.


  1. My 'lovely' daughter told my husband I was having affairs as I had told her I was talking to men on IE we used to share everything and were very close it had upset her alledgedlly but she should have talked to me instead she showed him my IE account and hacked into my e -mails so very cruel when it could have been sorted out between us. My daughter is no longer welcome in my life that kind of betrayal is beyond words particularly as she had an affair and I kept it quiet even when she was discovered by her husband so I now can't trust anyone

  2. Oh my god hun, that is so wrong. I'm so very sorry for you. If you ever need to talk about it please feel free to email me through my blog. I'm there to help. I can't comprehend betrayal like that, truly shocking. So sorry xxx