Sunday, March 21, 2010

Q. I've been with my girlfriend for less than two years and we're already having old-married-couple-sex. I've suggested we try bondage or watching porn together, but she made me feel like a pervert for even asking. This is my longest relationship - is this just what happens?

A. The crazy ripping-each-others-clothes-off part of a sexual relationship usually last about a year (it rarely lasts more than two). But by that point, you should know each other well enough to begin working on deeper and more intimate lovemaking - the kind that means taking risks and daring to introduce new things. It sounds as though you're doing the right thing, but I wonder if you're going about it in the right way. 'Hey, couldn't we spice things up a little?' could sound a lot like 'Damn, sex with you is really dull', if said in the wrong tone of voice. So she might be feeling defensive - or maybe she's just nervous. Either way, a relationship that stands still is a stagnant one. Eventually you'll either move forward or move on.

1 comment:

  1. It changes, people get bored with each other, you have to work at keeping it interesting.