Sunday, November 15, 2009

Q. I've been seeing a woman who says she doesn't want to be in a relationship but she's happy to have casual sex. I love the sex, but if I'm honest, I want more. Why does she hold back from me?

A. Casual-sex relationships sound so cool. Two single people getting together now and then to share each other's bodies, have great orgasms and then leave to get on with wholly unconnected lives. But it's a fantasy because one almost always likes the other more, while the other is making do until something better comes along. To be honest, its usually the woman who wants more, while the man is finding excuses not to spend time with her, so this is not a usual situation. However, if she's happy to be getting her sexual needs met by you, but its only for now - don't fool yourself into thinking you can change her mind. If she says she's up for hanging out with you for a while but doesn't want more, that's almost certainly what she means. If you think you might get hurt, leave now. If you think you can detach your emotions and enjoy the sex then relish the arrangement, but keep your eyes open for someone better, just as she is doing.

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