Sunday, November 1, 2009

Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend once had sex with a prostitute. It was years before he met me and he says he has no desire to do it again, but I'm disgusted with him. I don't understand why he needed to pay for sex - its not as if he's ugly.

A. As soon as boys hit puberty, we make them work hard for every bit of sexual attention they get. We tell them they have to be funny, charming, have money in their pockets, dress well, be strong yet gentle, and be keen but not too keen. If they obey all the rules, we might let them get to first base. Most men experience a high rejection rate that takes its toll on their egos. Prostitutes appear to offer a simple money-for-sex transaction, cutting out all the hard work, the games and the risk of rejection or ridicule. But the reality is cold, empty and meaningless, which is probably why he never repeated the experience. We all make mistakes - is your sexual history whiter than white? You should be grateful that he feels comfortable enough to tell you about it, and is an honest man, they are rare, and that is far more important than a mistake in his past that he clearly didn't want to repeat.


  1. Still it shocked her and probably every fear in the world raced thru her mind, like HIV etc.