Q. I've been using a vibrator for years and I'm worried that I've numbed my clitoris, because I don't feel at all sensitive when my partner touches me. My friend says she never uses a vibrator because she'd heard that it ruins orgasms, is that true?

A. Bloody hell, I hope not!!! I've had it if that's the case!!! And thanks to Lovehoney.co.uk I should be numb from the waist down!!

Actually I have heard this rumour over the past few years and here's what I think - Vibrators provide us with full control over our orgasm, which takes a few seconds to achieve and tends to be short, intense and perfectly satisfying. It might not be the best orgasm we've ever had but its right on the button every time. When we're with a lover, we're only partly in control, we keep our fingers crossed they'll do exactly the right thing at the right time, in the right place. We have to trust them and keep communicating. It tends to take longer with a lover because, without electrical vibrations, we need to be teased and cajoled into orgasm, instead of blasted there. Expect your orgasm to take 20 minutes with a partner and don't just concentrate on the clitoris. Seek out different sensations rather than comparing those experiences during sex with those you get with a vibrator. There's room for all types of orgasm, so lie back and enjoy the ride.