Q. I don't know what's happening - ever since the first night with my new girlfriend, I've been rubbish in the sack. I either cum really fast or can't cum at all. I've even lost my erection halfway through. I really like this girl. Why can't I get a grip?

A. Sounds like a frustrating dose of performance anxiety (PA) and despite what Rachel says to Ross in Friends, it is that common, it does happen to every guy and it isn't a big deal. The best way to cope with PA is to take a few deep breaths and remind yourself of a few things:

1. She may have a heavenly body but she's just a girl lying in bed with a guy
2. Be honest
3. You're in perfect working order
4. While your penis behaviour is a big deal for you, your tongue and fingers are just as important to her, so use them.