Q. Having orgasms with a boyfriend never used to be a problem. But now I hardly ever get there with my new man. I was single for two years and watched porn to meet my needs. Has it ruined me?

A. Our main sex organ is the brain. It can be trained to trigger an orgasmic response to sexual stimuli. You've been relying on one way for a while, so you need to retrain yourself. Porn focuses the brain on one thought - your orgasm. It's a quick search for the perfect image - then, wham! Sex with a person means having to consider more. We're not in charge of our orgasm; we trust someone to do it for us. Give yourself (and him) time to adjust. And stop masturbating until you find your relationship mojo.