Q. I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 32. We've been together for six years, we love each other and talk about our future - but he wants kids and I don't. He thinks I'll change my mind but I don't want him to pin his hopes on it. The thought of having a baby terrifies me - I'm too selfish and would make a terrible mum. I don't want him to miss out on a family but I can't bear the thought of splitting up.

A. Your fear of having a baby suggests there's an issue to be put to rest. Was the relationship with your mother rocky? Or do you fear the pain of delivery? Why not have counselling to put your mind at rest? If you still feel you don't want a child - and understand the reasons for this - you can use the evidence of counselling to persuade your boyfriend you won't change your mind. He can then make an informed decision. But if you decide to continue with your childless relationship, there could be a price to pay in the future. The best thing to do now is be honest - not just with him, but with yourself.