Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Q. My boyfriend comes after just a few thrusts and it's killing me. Sometimes he lasts longer but only if he keeps stopping, which is really frustrating. I was patient at first but now I get angry about it and would rather just not bother. Is there anything he can do to improve his staying power?

A. I completely get your frustration, but it's probably making things worse. Premature ejaculation affects 30% to 40% of men and is nearly always caused or made worse by stress. He knows he's letting you down and probably feels awful about it. This isn't just his problem to fix on his own. You're part of the problem and part of the cure. Try to stop wasting energy on feeling angry and take action instead. Start by apologising for laying on the pressure and stick to non-penetrative sex while you try some new ways of improving things - together. Try a delay spray, if he's willing and not offended by the suggestion. Some work very well, numbing the over sensitive nerves in his penis but don't push him to try it, use it as play rather than a solution.

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