Q. I'm intimidated by my girlfriend's ex. We use the same gym and I've noticed his huge tackle in the shower. She must be really disappointed with me; I don't measure up. Tell me the truth - does size matter?

A. If women could shop for the ideal 'equipment' from the pick-a-penis store, the short thin ones would be the last to sell, along with the elephant-sized specimens. But if a perfect penis were all it took to keep us happy, we'd buy talking dildos. Sadly, for guys like your girlfriend's ex, it takes more than top tackle to satisfy us. Size does matter but not as much as making her laugh or giving her great head.

PS: nothing good comes from looking at men in showers - unless you're a woman, of course!!