Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Q. My new girlfriend is permanently horny. It's been three months since we met and she's still not slowing down. Whenever I try talking to her, she just starts kissing me or trying to unzip my trousers. I really want to get to know her a bit better, but I'm starting to think that she just wants me for the sex.

A. That's possible, but it's more likely she's using sex to avoid developing the relationship with you. We assume that sex is intimate because we have to take our clothes off to do it (or at least for some of it) but actually talking to each other - sharing details of our lives, opening our hearts and minds to another person's scrutiny - is far more intimate, and much more risky. Assume that she's far less confident with her clothes on than she is naked and you might start getting somewhere. Why not arrange to spend more time with her in public? Take her out for a romantic dinner and chat about light-hearted things to build up her confidence. Of course, she'll probably try to talk about sex, but hey, its a start.....!

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