Q. I know it was wrong but I read my ex's diary just before we split up. There was one entry from the beginning of our relationship that said I was funny and sexy but 'shame about the BJ's'. I've been completely paranoid about giving blow jobs ever since. What was I doing wrong?

A. What's that proverb about curiosity and dead cats? His comment was made at the start of your relationship, before you got to know him sexually - and I imagine that your technique was simply not his idea of great oral sex. That doesn't mean you're rubbish at it though. One man's idea of blow job heaven could be another's hell because different men want different things - some like it fast and rough; others prefer it slow and sensual. And at the start of a sexual partnership, we're all just guessing. Remember that men are learning too. Be careful you don't get so hung up on your performance that you forget to give the partner you're with a few pointers on his! And don't worry so much that you stop enjoying it because we all know a bad blow job becomes a great blow job if enthusiasm and a love of doing it is thrown into the mix. Love doing it and he'll love receiving it.