Friday, February 5, 2010

Q. I know I'm not supposed to, but I've got myself into two relationships at once. I need to pick one guy, but can't - I love both of them deeply. Mr A. is very loving and settled, and makes me his priority. Mr B. is a great cook, we have fantastic sex and he gives me my own space. How can I make a choice?

A. To be torn between two men means even though you love qualities in each of them, you don't deeply love either - not enough for commitment. Take a break from both guys. Spend a week or two away if you can - alone. Discover from a distance which, if either, emerges as the clear winner of your heart. More importantly, time on your own gives you a chance to find out who you are. For instance, do you truly want to settle down? Have you become the person you want to be, or are you still discovering yourself? Do you agree with Mr A. that you should be his first priority? Or do you think more like Mr B.? By the way, you don't mention who told you that you weren't supposed to love two men. Whoever it was, now you're discovering for yourself why two at a time is a bad idea.

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