Monday, February 8, 2010

Q. My new man talks all the way through sex - like a radio commentator at a football match: ''re doing this to me and now I'm doing this to you ....'. That on its own is bad enough, but then he'll call me names, which I hate. I don't know how to tell him without upsetting him.

A. Some people are turned on by what they see, some by what they feel and others by what they hear. If he's turned on by filthy banter, his sexual experience could be severely compromised if you put a ban on it. Try finding a compromise. He likes the chatter but you don't, so while you're building up to your orgasm, gently shush him and tell him you prefer silence. Then, when it's his turn, reward him by doing some dirty talking of your own. But make sure you let your man know the words or names that turn you off and ask him not to use them again because it's spoiling sex for you. If we make room for our lover's little habits, strange as they may be, hopefully they'll make room for ours.

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