Friday, April 2, 2010

Sex Toy Special ....

Q. My boyfriend wants me to go out for dinner wearing a butt-plug. I don't understand why he finds it sexy and I really don't want to do it. Is it safe?

A. Possibly he's misunderstood the essential nature of the butt-plug. During intercourse it can lead to a feeling of total fullness, and tighten your vaginal muscles. But, unlike men, women don't have a prostate gland up there; so while, for him, a plug could theoretically offer jazzy stimulation in and out of the bedroom, wearing one as you eat your starter will be mainly uncomfortable - unless the idea gives you a naughty thrill. Suggest wearing a butt...... erfly vibrator instead, which fits in your knickers, and give him the remote control. Much more fun all round.

Q. Can you advise me on which sex toy is best for giving me and my man pleasure at the same time?

A. One easy thrill is a vibrating cock ring. He puts it around the base of his penis, then it whirrs against your clitoris during sex, while intensifying the sensations for him, too. Or, if he's open minded about anal excitement, you could try a double-ended dildo, with one end inside you, and one ...... well, where do you think? If you're feeling very brave, you could try a strap on. Some have a buzzing vibe inside the harness, so, while you're doing him, you get more turned on with every thrust. May not be one to whip out on the first date though.

Q. Can you get made-to-measure vibrators?

A. Cloneboy make kits that allow you to create a silicon cast of your bloke's penis, for use as a dildo should he ever be unavailable in person. But I suggest you pick from one of the many new styles of the classic Rampant Rabbit. Lovehoney stock them all, in a rainbow of colours, thrust-styles and speeds. Frankly, it's a lot easier than having someone measure your vagina.

Q. Can you overuse your vibrator? I've heard of girls who use them every day and become desensitised to ordinary sex after having their vibrator on such a high setting.

A. If you apply pressure and vibration to any part of you, you'll risk making it numb eventually - and you can bruise your clitoris. However, as soon as you stop, it will return to normal - it's pretty resilient. To get the most out of your vibrator though, take it down a few notches. The build-up of sensation will be much slower and more enjoyable.

Q. I have just started seeing a new guy and he told me he loves to use vibrators on me. That's fine - but he doesn't see anything wrong with using the toys he bought for his ex!!! He says I'm being silly - am I?

A. No!! Tell you what, why don't you pop her old knickers on and give him a fashion show while you're at it? This isn't so much a hygiene issue (you can wash them - though 'eewwwww' is the key word springing to mind) as a sensitivity issue. He may be deeply practical, and fail to see the point of forking out for new vibes when he's got a whole bunch of perfectly serviceable ones right there. But even the most penny-pinching sex god should be able to grasp that re-using Rabbits is about as arousing as playing their old sex tapes while you get it on. Hang on, he didn't ..... did he?

Q. If my boyfriend wants to use my vibrator anally does it mean he has gay fantasies?

A. Not necessarily. There are plenty of straight men out there who enjoy a bit of anal insertion, so to speak. Don't forget, the male prostate gland (at the base of a man's bladder) is, after all, a highly sensitive erogenous zone - and the only way to stimulate the area internally is anally. For this reason, lots of men like a woman to insert a finger up there during sex, as this can intensify their orgasm. I suppose a vibrator is simply taking things that one step further. Again, the best thing is to be open and discuss it with him. If you're not shocked by the idea and you're up for a bit of experimentation, then there's nothing wrong with it. Equally, if you're just not comfortable with the whole idea, you need to be honest and let him know how you feel.

Q. My work colleague has asked me if I know of a sex toy that is small and discreet enough for her to use when she's working late in the office. What shall I say?

A. Well, yes. I see where she's coming from (behind her desk, by the sounds of things!) A silent model would be much better than a noisy over sized Rabbit, whose buzzing can be a real distraction when you're making important business calls. Might I suggest the Oyster Remote Control vibrator. It's really discreet, quiet, and it comes with its own remote control! Before she gets down to business though, it might be worth pointing out that masturbating in the office is probably a sackable offence - and jobs are very hard to come by these days (pardon the pun).....

Q. I'm a gay guy whose friend wants us to be fuck buddies. I've told her I'm not interested in women sexually, so she's suggesting we just use sex toys on each other. Help.

A. If you're not interested in having sex with a woman, why would using sex toys with her be any different? She obviously fancies you, but its fairly obvious her feelings aren't reciprocated (to me, at least). If you value her friendship, you have to make it clear you're not interested in her sexually - or romantically. Hopefully, she will accept your decision and you can continue your friendship as normal. And she can get jiggy with those sex toys on her own!

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