Quicky questions...

Q. I've never orgasmed with my boyfriend, but I can by myself, what's wrong?

A. Nothing - the fact that you're climaxing shows everything's working fine. now try to show your partner exactly how you touch yourself - if he masters it and you still can't have an orgasm, it may be the pressure to perform is inhibiting you. Relax and focus on sensations, rather than the goal, and it will happen.

Q. I get horrible PMS cramps. Is there anything I can do?

A. Two days before your period, pop 400mg of Ibuprofen, two or three times a day, and continue through the first day or two of bleeding. Other strategies: stop smoking, limit alcohol, and eat more vegetables. And my favourite cramp killer? Orgasm!

Q. It hurts every time I have sex. Why?

A. The anticipation of pain may be contributing to the problem - if you're tense or worried, you can't relax or lubricate and sex will be uncomfortable. Practise masturbating with a water based lubricant, and your fingers, until you're ready to experiment with a small vaginal sex toy. Once you're able to insert one without pain, I hope you'll be able to relax during sex with your partner. But if sex continues to hurt, see your doctor.

Q. When I orgasm I 'squirt'. What is it?

A. It's not urine; it's fluid released from the glands surrounding the urethra during orgasm. This 'female ejaculation' occurs only in some women, but it's natural and not a problem. So try to relax and enjoy it.

Q. My boyfriend has herpes from a previous partner. Will I get it?

A. Probably not if you follow this advice: wear a condom each time you have sex (to decrease the chance of transmission) and abstain from it altogether when he has an outbreak. Of course, if you do notice a lesion, see your doctor.

Q. I have an IUD, and it recently cut my boyfriend while we were having sex. Could something be wrong?

A. Yes. It sounds like your IUD is protruding from your uterus, trying to expel itself. This isn't common, but it can happen, especially in the first year. Get your doctor to check the device straight away, if it's not in the right place, you could become pregnant, so use a condom or, for his sake, hold off until it's safe in there.

Q. My boyfriend hasn't gone down on me in months, but he always wants me to do it to him. What's up?

A. In my mind he's being selfish, but sexual interest can wane in long term relationships. So remind him how much you like oral sex - and ask for it. No improvement? I'd withhold fellatio until he reciprocates. Great sex is about satisfying both partners.