Q. I have a 'shag buddy' thing with a male friend, which suits me fine. The problem is he always comes, and I rarely do - I'm not confident telling him what to do, as we're not even dating. Am I being silly?

A. If you can't even get an orgasm out of it, why bother? You're simply indulging his needs, with no thought for your own. If you're both happy with the non-committal, post-pub bunk-ups, fine, but at least draw him a map of your bits on the back of a beer mat. If he's not interested, have the self respect to drop your little arrangement. If he is, problem solved. Until you meet someone else, at any rate.