Thursday, June 9, 2011

Q. My boyfriend of three years tells me he loves me, but doesn't show me any affection. I might be misinterpreting things, as he isn't very touchy-feely. How can I tell if he does or doesn't like me?

A. This is a difficult conversation so instead of telling him what he's not doing you need to nudge him towards what you want him to do. He's told you that he loves you and some men see touch as strictly part of the sexual ritual rather than a signal of affection and reassurance. Instigate things gradually, such as hand holding while you're out, or clinging to his bicep if he takes his hand away (pretending your high heels mean you need to hold on for balance is a good excuse). Sit on the same sofa when you are watching TV or a movie, instead of far apart, lean on him, or gently cuddle him. And asking for shoulder massages or back rubs when you're sitting alone sometimes works, he might just need some encouragement to touch you. Tell him you enjoy this while he's doing it, but don't suddenly instigate massive cuddles while you're out as he's clearly not a tactile bloke. If all else fails, talk to him, tell him what you love, and he might just get the hint.

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