Thursday, June 9, 2011

Q. My boyfriend and I get along well, except for his jealousy. He gets worked up over the smallest things - my being out with friends, getting in late from work, or when he thinks guys are looking at me. I'm finding it hard to cope.

A. Jealousy is to do with self-esteem, trust and respect - and unless these are addressed, it's unlikely the relationship will progress in a healthy way. Ask him why he thinks you'd cheat on him - if he's had bad experiences with women in the past, reassure him that you're not the same as them, but explain it's not fair he takes it out on you. Then talk about what you can do to help him with his jealousy. Maybe you could call him when you're going to be at work late? Don't be too accommodating though. Trust and respect for each other are essential. Agree to try this for a month and then talk. That way, you'll both feel like you're taking control of the problem.

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