Saturday, March 12, 2011

Q. I'm 30 and I've been with my boyfriend for ten years. We're both in demanding careers and live at home with our parents. We're good friends but our sex life is non-existent. Two months ago I met a fantastic man who's nine years younger than me. Now I can't stop thinking about him and I'm miserable around my boyfriend. Although this man asked for my number, I didn't give it to him as he lives miles away. Now, though, I'm wondering if he could have been my way out. Have I missed my chance for a new life?

A. This new man has crystallised something that you were already subconsciously feeling; that your life with your boyfriend is not fully satisfying. The fact that you now see this man as your 'way out' suggests that you've felt paralysed by your relationship. His fleeting appearance is a chance for you to do something to change your life - whether or not he's around. You now recognise that you want a change. You have the choice of staying with your boyfriend but changing the non-sexual nature of your relationship; alternatively you can continue as friends but be open to the possibility of another relationship; or you can split up completely. Whatever you choose, try to see this as an opportunity for you to find out, not via this other man, but by your own actions.

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