Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Q. Whenever me and my boyfriend have a heated sex session, he can be a bit rough when he's touching my clitoris. How do I tell him he's pressing too hard without ruining the mood or hurting his feelings?

A. He'll want to know he's turning you on, and it would probably hurt his feelings more to know you've been putting up with discomfort when he thought he was getting you off. When he touches you in ways you like, tell him it feels good and make encouraging noises. If he becomes too rough, it's fine to say 'I like it a little bit softer'. He should get the message, but if not, show him yourself how you like to be touched or, at a time when you're not having sex, explain that sometimes it gets a bit rough in the heat of the moment, which can be uncomfortable. Again, that should help him realise he needs to adapt his technique to suit your needs.

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