Q. My girlfriend says she likes oral sex, but when I'm down there she just lies still with her eyes shut. It freaks me out so I stop - then she says 'Thanks'. I'm confused.

A. I'm not surprised - she's not giving anything away. And for all you know she's actually having the time of her life and the only reason she hasn't reached orgasm yet is because you keep losing heart and giving up too soon. Or, she likes what you do to her but you haven't discovered the exact technique needed to take her from 'Mmmmm nice' to 'OH, YES!' Or, as you fear, your best efforts are only serving to lull her pleasantly into a mildly hypnotic state. The answer to each possibility is the same - you need feedback. Let her know that right now you feel like Robinson Crusoe, rowing in concentric circles around an unknown island, and neither of you is going anywhere without her help.