Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Q. Six months ago, I agreed to a threesome and my husband hired an escort girl to come to our flat. I've regretted it ever since. My paranoia's eating me alive; he seemed to enjoy sex so much more with her that I keep thinking he's seeing her. I can't cope. What's wrong with me?

A. Nothing! Threesomes are an emotional minefield that even the most self-assured couples struggle to navigate, so stop beating yourself up. Watching your lover writhing naked with someone else is bound to hurt. The question is, how do you get past that? Something I regularly hear from couples trying to survive a threesome is that it feels like one of them has had an affair that the other can't forgive. No one meant to hurt anybody, so be gentle with each other. Talk and listen until you both feel understood. If that's too hard, see a relationship counsellor. The goal is either forgive and move on or just move on, but is it really worth throwing away your relationship over a couple of hours?

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