Q. I keep losing my erection when I'm with a girl. It starts off OK and then.... it just dies. It got so bad with my ex that I dumped her out of embarrassment. Now I've met an amazing woman and I'm terrified it's going to happen all over again.

A. The key is that you are 'terrified'. Fear has a strong impact on our minds and bodies. We enter fight or flight - the choice we have to make when faced with danger. Our breathing shallows (to encourage adrenalin release) and we want to empty our bowels, bladder and stomach (to reduce the weight we carry). The last thing you need when frightened is sex so you lose your hard-on. Take deep breaths and try to relax. If she rejects you, you'll survive to live another day, but if she's as amazing as you hope, she'll be happy to go at your pace. And if you feel brave enough, explain the situation to her. You will be surprised at how understanding she will be. And I'm pretty sure she will want to try extra hard to make sure you stay extra hard!