Saturday, December 4, 2010

Q. I've been seeing a man for six weeks but although we've kissed, he hasn't made any move towards sex. Should I give it time, or admit he just doesn't fancy me and cut my losses?

A. Let's have a think about what you can do in six weeks - grow your hair a quarter of an inch, do half a term at college, get a table at one of the more popular London restaurants... its not a very inspiring list, is it? Because, let's face it, six weeks really isn't very long. And yet somehow we expect it to be plenty long enough to make one of the most important of all personal decisions - whether or not to start a sexual relationship with a new partner.

I'm old-fashioned. So shoot me. In these days of the MTV generation, where everything has to be accomplished within the same time scale of a promotional video, we're so used to making snap decisions that anyone who tries to take their time is either gay, weird, or plain not interested. Yet believe it or not, there are men who think with their brains not their lunch boxes, who prefer to hesitate now rather than regret later and who feel a quaint need to at least get to know and like a woman before swapping bodily fluids with her.

Yes, there is a possibility that he just doesn't fancy you (although any body language expert will tell you that regular snogs are a fairly reliable indication of attraction). If you're celebrating your first anniversary with a quick peck on the cheek before the last Tube home, you should probably start worrying. But six weeks? Relax and wait a while.

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