Q. My boyfriend can't penetrate me. He's really patient but no amount of lube or foreplay makes a difference. Last time he tried, my vagina tore at the entrance, and I bled. Sex never ends with orgasm or enjoyment, just pain and tears. I'm scared I'll be a virgin for the rest of my life.

A. First of all, you need to stop trying until you find out what's wrong. There is a condition called vaginismus where the muscles of the vagina (pelvic floor) clamp down and lock shut. It's typically found in women with little or no sexual experience (although it can also be a response to trauma too). Muscle tension is a response to fear - it's a vicious, worsening cycle; you tense up because you expect it to hurt and, when it does, the pain reinforces your fears and increases the tension. There is treatment and help available - but you must see your GP. Don't self diagnose or take my word for it. Google it for more information.