Q. My girlfriend's put on weight and become so paranoid. If I don't want sex, she interrogates me about whether I still fancy her. It's not her weight that puts me off, it's her insecurity. If she feels bad why doesn't she just lose weight?

A. Because she feels bad!! It's hard to take control of your life when your self-esteem's on the floor. She's stopped liking herself and expects you to stop liking her too. She keeps asking because she can't believe you still fancy her - as she feels so unfanciable. Many women can't feel sexy when they're fat. Tell her you know the weight is making her unhappy, although it doesn't worry you, and ask her how you can support her getting back to a size she'd be happy with. Although it's not your 'job' to keep her spirits up when she's low, you should do it out of love and hope that she's there for you when you need her.