Sunday, October 10, 2010

Q. I've always liked this man but he got married three years ago and I was happy to just be friends. Then out of the blue he texted to say he wasn't happy, so we met up and he told me he'd strayed a few times. I told him he should make his marriage work for his children's sake but later I received another text saying it was me he really wanted to be with. I really like him too, but I doubt I could live with splitting him and his wife up. Can we still be friends?

A. He needs someone to share the trauma of his rocky marriage with and he's picked you. Your instincts are right - you're not made to be the other woman; you want to be the only woman. So, can you still be friends? No. He's too needy right now for the sharing and balance of a good friendship. He alone must first solve his problem with the only other people concerned: his wife and kids. So back away and be there only if or when he takes it upon himself to become a free agent. But a small word of caution. He may tell you he's free to get what he wants and needs, be sure he is definitely free before you believe him and go any further.

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