Sunday, October 31, 2010

Q. My boyfriend prefers porn to me. He looks at it every day (I check his computer) but when it comes to having sex with me, he's 'too tired'. The porn actresses are thinner and prettier than me. How am I supposed to compete?

A. Porn actors are like cartoon characters - they're not seen as real. He's as likely to compare them to you as he is you to Jessica Rabbit. The images are purely functional - they tickle the bits of our brain that fuel sexual desire. Porn isn't sex, it's masturbation. And, to put it bluntly, if you think he prefers his own right hand to your womanly flesh, what are you doing there? Sneaking around his private data won't help you feel more secure. Ask him if everything's OK because you noticed a dip in his libido. Try having sex early evenings or mornings when he's not tired. And stop snooping. How would you feel if he found a way to read your mind and your fantasies? If you can't talk to him or trust him, what's your relationship made of?

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