Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Q.

My lover and I are having a fantastic time, or so I thought. He loves to see me, and tries so hard to get away from his wife. Its great fun, we have lots of laughs and lots of sex. We are new to this so we are still getting used to each other. When we first got together I told him I'd played with a woman many moons ago. I'd had a 4 some with my partner at the time. I didn't think anything was wrong with being honest and open about my sexuality but I'm wishing I hadn't mentioned it now. He seems obsessed with it, its all he can talk about and now, when we get together, he's pushing me to find another woman or couple to play with. I know he's never done it and wants to try it, but its getting boring now, its like I'm not enough!

Help!!


A.

OH my, men and their fantasies, and when a woman is open and honest enough to tell about these things they have to obsess about it. Give them an inch....... ! :)

Anyway, if you're not in a rush to do this, or anything else you may have discussed, you have to tell him. He has to be patient with you. There are a million things you can do together before you start introducing new people into your relationship. I can understand, as he is married, that he has probably been experiencing fairly boring sex for a very long time, and a new, exciting mistress who is open and adventurous will be blowing his mind, and it can become addictive. However, he needs to respect your wishes and respect your boundaries, and understand that good things come to those who wait.

A 4 some can be great fun, and men do love the idea. They love the idea of a 3 some even more because then its 'all about him', but if you're not ready for either of those then tell him. He will not be able to shake that image from his head because its something he's been dreaming of for well over half of his life but if he doesn't respect your wishes, or is not satisfied by what you both currently do, then you might need to rethink your relationship. Ask him to not talk about it so much, if he's turned on by the thought of it then that's ok, and its flattering knowing he's thinking of you (and whoever) and its arousing him, but thinking about it and talking about it/doing it are completely different things.

In time, who knows what might happen and what you might want to do, but certainly in the initial rush of excitement he should be concentrating on you, not trying to include everyone he can think of :)

If you're open and honest enough to tell him about this in the first place, then I'm pretty sure you're open and honest enough to tell him to shut up until you bring the subject up again!

Good luck with it and you know where I am if it doesn't work. I'll have a word with him :)

3 comments:

  1. No words of wisdom, I'm afraid, but my mistress has also had a few "bi" encounters and threesomes in the past. If she wants to get me (more) excited at any time, she mentions them, and knows full well the effect this has on me! I have to try VERY hard not to bring the matter up myself (and I succeed), but as serial mistress says, this is every man's fantasy. I want get to know her much better and work through all kinds of other erotic fantasies (hers and mine) and other possibilities with her first before even thinking about introducing a third party into our relationship.

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  2. I love how you are all refering to threesomes as if all threesomes are one man/two women. Tell your lover you'll try a threesome with him and another woman - if he'll do one with you and another man.

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  3. Why would the thought of a 3some with 2 men be a problem?
    In any event, a 3some with two women doesn't automatically double the attention for the man. It may mean he ends up just watching as the two girls enjoy each other (and learning too).
    On the other hand, a 3some with an extra man may open the door to all sorts of new experiences - ever looked down at the look of bliss on a partner's face as she slides her mouth over you and wondered... I know I have

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