Q.

I started an affair 3 months ago, before we met he was all over me, he was texting me constantly, calling me every day, trying to see me, pushing to rush things, and all I wanted was to meet him. We managed to arrange it and when we met it was amazing. We had a fantastic time, he booked the hotel, we had dinner, we had drinks, we had lovely kisses and great sex. Then the texts and calls started to calm down, he was busy. The second time we met a month later was just as good but he arranged for it to be at my place, we had great sex as soon as he arrived and I cooked. I didn't mind, I like to spoil a man, but it didn't feel the same. The texts and calls dropped to one or two a week, he was busy. The third time we met a month later he was 'passing on business' and popped in for a couple of hours. We had sex and he left. I felt so cheap after and it didn't feel like I was the princess he'd promised I'd always be. Why has he changed?

A.

Sorry to say but he changed because he could. He's wanting a home from home. He's showing you no respect by treating you like that. If you can't speak up and tell him its not right then its better you walk away and find another man who can treat you well. Its not about big dinners, hotels and presents, but it is about respect and decency, and not making you feel bad. Relationships are difficult, especially at the beginning, trying to work out where the boundaries are and what keeps each other happy, but he doesn't have to treat you like a doormat, and you don't have to feel bad.

Stay in this if you're happy, if you can absolutely say you're happy about the situation, and he's so amazing that you can't live without him, but the fact he has made you feel uncomfortable with things after only your third date means you need to shake your head and refocus on what you really want from this. Tell him if you're unhappy, and what makes you unhappy, he may well do the same with you, in which case you will learn more about him. But if this man is capable of disrespecting you so soon, imagine what it will be like in another 6 months?

You are a catch, you are the one who has several men interested in you, he should be thrilled that you're willing to tolerate his situation, so he should be the one making the effort for you. No effort, no point.

Anything that doesn't make you smile all the time should be addressed, smiling is better than frowning. Leave the frowning and the frown lines to his wife, and smile because you are fabulous :)

When you realise that, and he realises that, maybe the respect will be there, or you will have moved on to someone else who knows how to treat your fabulous self!