Q. Last year, I met a guy who introduced me to a whole new world of sex - he'd give me sexy orders, tie me up and even spank me. He was in charge and I loved it. Now I'm with a new man who's lovely, but he's too gentle in bed. I want that naughty element back, but how do I get it?

A. The key word here is 'introduced' - you didn't know what you liked until somebody invited you to try something new. Men have heard a rumour that women want them to be romantic and sensitive, loving and considerate...... which is true in general, but in the bedroom a lot of women want a caveman! If we don't set the record straight and fill the gaps in their knowledge, we've got no one to blame but ourselves for sub-standard sex. Watch the film Secretary together and look at him meaningfully during the sexy scenes - if that doesn't work, whisper your fantasies in his ear in the dark. If you happen to be holding his penis at the time, you can be sure he'll be listening to you - very, very carefully!