Q. Sex with my husband is a sprint - right from the off he's fast and furious. Its flattering but I need time to get into it. Normally, I'm just warming up when its all over for him. I'm scared to say anything in case I put him off.

A. Put him off what?? Wanting to have sex with you? Unlikely!! Listen closely - men love instructions. One of the things that drives blokes nuts about us is that we won't just tell them what we want. I'm a girl so I get it - it's the 'If you really loved me, you'd know what I needed' school of thought (jeez we give them enough hints!!). I hate to say it, but the boys are right - it's not their job to guess our needs. Take responsibility for them yourself. Next time you're ready to have sex, tell him it's your turn to take the lead. Play chilled-out tunes and keep everything slow and sensual; if he's not used to this it'll be a sensation thrill. Give clear and sexy commands, like, 'Slower.... gently,' and be sure to let him know when he gets it right. If you have the courage, tie his hands so he can't rush anything. Take your time to make him orgasm, slowly, sensually touching him, getting him to the point of cumming and stopping, taking him back down. He will realise that a long, lingering build up will bring him, and you, much bigger orgasms. Stop worrying that he won't like you speaking up, he will!