Q. I'm rubbish at 'girl on top'. I can't get a rhythm going, my legs get tired or cramp up and I often get a shooting pain when the penis reaches the top of my vagina. Also, I get embarrassed when I'm being watched. I know men like it but I fall to pieces and feel stupid.

A. You're self-conscious and unsure - and calling yourself 'rubbish' will only make that worse. What makes you think being good on top is about having the ability to bounce up and down like a cowgirl on a bucking bronco? If you're comparing yourself to porn actresses, don't! Most of them are like muscle-bound Barbie dolls with retractable rubber limbs, whose only purpose is to please a man - they bear little resemblance to real women in terms of sexual performance. Try focusing on your pleasure rather than his - most men love this position because they get to watch you helping yourself to their bodies. If you're on top, you're in charge - move as slowly and as deeply as you want, and look into his eyes, you'll drive him wild!! If your legs start to ache then move, good sex thrives on variety, and that means positions, no position should make you ache, move around, use all the positions, and keep coming back to 'girl on top'. The variety will drive him just as wild!! :)

Q. I love my man dearly and we have great sex - until it comes to penetration. I never cum that way with him and I know its because he's a bit on the small side.

A. If his part is, er, compact, then try the 'scissor position' for maximum penetration sensation. Lie on your side with one leg raised in the air (see where the name comes from?), then get him to kneel either side of the flat leg and enter you. He can either lean on one arm, or not support himself, and that leaves his hands free to stimulate other parts of you, stroking your leg or playing with your clit at the same time. That way he's not just relying on his penis to give you pleasure. Remind yourself that most women don't cum from penetration alone. Great sex is about much more and a mini-manhood has its advantages - like easier oral sex :)