Q. I can't believe that I'm complaining about this - my girlfriend treats me like a sex toy. She's obsessed with my penis, which would be great if I felt like she was interested in the rest of me. She never looks at me during sex and won't let me go down on her. I like her so much - I want to understand.

A. It's either that you turn her on, but she doesn't fancy you, so she's using you until someone better comes along, or she really likes you - and wants to please you - but is shy and finds it easier to focus on your penis than meet your eye under such intimate circumstances. If it's the first one, she probably never refers to you as 'her boyfriend' or makes plans with you further than next Friday; you haven't met her friends or family; and she prefers shagging to talking and rarely touches you out of the bedroom. But if its the second, she'll have found lots of ways to show you she cares and may just need a bit more time to build her confidence in the bedroom. Deep down you know which one it is.