Q. My girlfriend used to want sex all the time but now she won't even let me cuddle her. When I try asking her what's going on, she says I'm pestering her. I've tried everything from candles to massage. It's making me really insecure. Is it sex she's gone off - or me?

A. Your insecurity is drawing you into a very unattractive behaviour pattern that is almost certainly making a bad situation worse. Your 'trying everything' doesn't seem to have included giving her any space to work this thing out for herself - it might be about you and then it might not, but either way, putting pressure on her to sort it out isn't going to charge her libido up anytime soon. There's nothing less sexy than a whiny puppy begging for attention. Make a decision to let her come to you when she's ready and get on with your life so she can see you as the independent, confident, outgoing bloke she fell for in the first place. If she doesn't come back, you can reassess your options like an adult who has choices.