Q. My husband's so boring in bed. If I try talking dirty, he tells me to be quiet. If I put on lingerie, he takes it off straight away. He sulked for weeks when I suggested bringing a vibrator to bed. Seriously - I love him but what's his problem?

A. Banter, knickers and toys..... what's next? Naked hiking? Riding crop and stiff britches? Sex play can be deeper intimacy between lovers, but it can also be a way to avoid the simple closeness of being one on one. Maybe he's satisfied with just you and is hurt that you don't feel the same? Is it just the sex you're bored with or is there more to it? Talk to him - away from the bedroom. Go for a walk (men find it easier to talk side by side) and find out if he's really happy as things are. Be honest about your needs, but be gentle - calling him boring in bed is more likely to make him crawl under the duvet than inspire him to be the lover of your dreams.