Q. My boyfriend can't ejaculate during sex. It's always the same - we have sex for ages, he doesn't climax, and then has to pleasure himself to orgasm, leaving me feeling sore and useless. Is there something wrong?

A. It can take time to learn how to orgasm with another person. Masturbation comes naturally to most but a sexual relationship can take years of experience to perfect and hone. Everyone has insecurities but sometimes they end up forming very unsexy habitual thoughts which act as 'orgasm blockers'. I'm taking too long. She's bored. Should I fake it? Is his jaw aching? Is she getting sore? The only sure way to get past them is to check the truth out with your partner, but until you're brave enough, stick to things that work to build your (and his) confidence. Allowing yourself to be used like a poor second to his own right hand isn't helping either of you. For now, you can be part of his orgasm by gently massaging (or licking) his testicles while he works on himself.