Q. I've been single for three years. A year ago, I started having cyber-sex with people in chat rooms. I love it because, in real life, I'm shy in bed and can't ask for what I want - online I feel like a goddess. How can I be that person in the real world too?

A. Your online personality isn't necessarily different from your real-life personality - if you're a goddess online, you're a goddess in real-life too. Think of your year in chat rooms as time spent studying your sexuality - you've learnt how to describe your needs in detail and now you have an honours degree in sexual confidence. The next step is to take your new found skills and put them into practice - with a real lover. You're now three years older and more experienced than the last time you were in a relationship - so don't judge the woman you have become by the girl that you were. Get out there, take it slow and let the goddess emerge.