Q.   I can climax in 30 seconds or so by myself, but with a guy I just can't seem to let go.  I usually end up faking it because I feel sorry for them.  What's wrong with me? 


A.   Women who fake orgasms share a few of the same inconvenient beliefs.  They place a higher value on their lover's pleasure than their own.  They're more interested in the way they're perceived than being seen for who they really are.  They don't believe they have equal orgasmic rights and they don't trust their partner enough to tell the truth.  Sexy thinking, huh?  Most women would agree that orgasms start in the brain, but if yours is busy wondering what your lover is thinking - or whether you're taking too long, or if he'll be disappointed if you don't climax after all his hard work - you can't even get started.  Being in a trusting relationship will help but, in the meantime, try focusing on your favourite fantasies and the physical pleasure he's (hopefully) giving you.  Make your pleasure as important as his and you shouldn't have any more trouble.